Although I am an avowed dog lover, I have been known to rescue the occasional feline. Now am speaking of the animal variety but in the modern mature girl’s world there exists a whole new vocabulary.

Lets start with the obvious the cougar:  The cougar is a sexy older woman, usually in her 40s or 50s, who is tired of the men in her age bracket or older. These men are usually balding, have large guts, are coach potatoes and have as much stamina as a bowling ball.  Meanwhile the cougar has reached her sexual prime and knows what she wants, certainly not the bowling ball.   True blue cougars are classy, dress well, have brains and have usually made it in the corporate world. They are successful in their own rights.  She knows her wine and doesn’t drink moonshine. Cougars seek younger men, they don’t have to sneak up and attack…they know their younger lovers are eager to have an experienced woman who has no inhibitions and is not clingy. Being a cougar is a positive thing. Think Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher or  Halle Berry and Gabriel Aubry.  And who can forget Cher who has dated a whole string of younger men including Tom Cruise.

Then there’s the puma. The puma is too young to be a cougar but older than the men she wants to date.  Men in her age bracket would prefer to date siliconed bimbos to educated women.  These stripper types (read: bimbos) in platform heels are hoping to be trophy wives where they can indulge in their fondness for plastic surgery.

Next is the bobcat. The bobcat is the baby of the group she is usually in her 20’s and dates men at least two years her junior.  So say a woman in her mid twenties dating an eighteen year old.

Lets move on to the mountain lion.  She is similar to a cougar but that is where the similarity ends.  A mountain lion refers to an UN-ATTRACTIVE older woman however she still tries to  hunt younger men and may even succeed if the bars are really dark. Cougars and pumas are sleek and attractive the mountain lion is well unfortunately not.

We end with the sabertooth. She is so old she should be extinct but still attempts the prowl.  Key word here being attempt. . .

–JT